A visit to the doctor is essential. Yes, it’s embarrassing telling a doctor that you cannot do what most men take for granted. Let’s explain why it’s so hard (pun intended!).
The male psyche is that of the “doer” and thus, when you ﬁnd that you can’t do something, it frustrates you and there are battles inside you because you feel you should be able to do this. The male is quite upset by the fact that something isn’t working that should, and may experience denial for a while because it is too sensitive to discuss.
However, what a man needs to know is that a woman thinks of these things in a totally different manner. She doesn’t apportion blame. If anything, she may feel that she isn’t doing enough to help her man and will be only too happy to talk with the doctor and her man to help him to overcome whatever the cause may be. She is his best ally when approaching the doctor, and can come up with observations that a man may be too embarrassed to talk about. The female psyche is tuned to the emotional side of the relationship, and she will care sufﬁciently to want to help. It’s her nature.
When you go to the doctor, there are likely to be all kinds of questions. He may ask for blood tests or urine examinations to eliminate certain causes. He may also see external reasons why your sex life isn’t happening such as those mentioned above, and may be able to help you in your attempts to overcome problems which you can do something about.
Adjustments to Your Medical Regime
The doctor will also be able to do blood tests that will help him to establish if you are having this problem because of medical reasons. Perhaps the drugs that you take are those which affect whether you can sustain an erection. There are many drugs which do affect the sexual organs and you need to eliminate these as a possibility. If medicine is found to be the cause, there may be alternative medicines less known to affect your sex life as one of the side effects of taking that medication. Therefore, your visit to the doctor should include explaining to him exactly what medications you have been taking.
He may also ask when the problem started and other personal questions, and having your partner there with you will help to give him a fuller picture of what is happening.
Don’t expect Viagra as an option straight away
Your body may not need drugs to help you to sustain an erection. There may be other reasons behind the dysfunction, and taking Viagra is not advised for everyone because of other complications that are associated with this drug. Never buy this drug online, believing that it will be the answer to your problems. You need to see a doctor and discuss all of the implications, as well as having a full record of your current health situation, which online suppliers will not have.
Whatever the problem is, it’s taken a while to happen. This may be because of clogged blood vessels, it may be because you have stresses and worries, it may be because you are obese or on stimulants such as cigarettes or are drinking too much coffee or alcohol, but it may also be because there is a lack of dialog between your partner and yourself, and that’s really one of the most important aspects that you need to explore.
Dialog With Your Partner
If you ﬁnd that you are not stimulated sufficiently to sustain an erection, it may not be your fault. It may be that you haven’t discovered those triggers that help you to maintain your erection. Talking about your sex life with your partner is a great idea. You may not see it as a great idea at this moment in time. You may feel that you are failing her, or that you have some kind of defect. The problem with being a male is that you expect things to happen and in this particular case, they didn’t.
Choose a time when you can sit down and talk to your partner. If she sees that you are worried, she will be open to dialog. Don’t apportion any blame at all, because even if she isn’t that enthused about sex, it’s worked until now. Now that the problem has happened, changes need to be made to try to find solutions between the two of you. See how open she is to helping. You may find that your partner is much more open than you think.
Sometimes sustaining an erection depends upon the stimulation of the penis and the sexual position. There are some positions which give the penis more stimulation than others. Talk about fantasies. Talk about the area of the penis which is most sensitive and let her experience playing with this part of your anatomy. It’s a great turn on to talk to her about her trigger points as well, so that this isn’t just about you. Perhaps you have been through rough times together and you may well be taking these worries to bed with you. It’s time to learn to switch off at bedtime and concentrate on the things that matter in that moment in time.
One particularly good sexual position to help a man to stay ﬁrm and erect is a deep thrust position commonly known as doggy fashion. The reason for this is because the woman can adjust her position to give more friction and it is this friction that helps the penis to stay erect. This position is where the woman kneels and leans forward and the male approaches her from behind. This would follow foreplay and is a very good position for those whose erection seems half-hearted, for whatever reason. It helps the man to be able to ejaculate and it also helps the woman to gain a great deal of satisfaction because of the depth of the thrust.
There may be things that you haven’t discussed with your partner that are making your sex life impossible. For example, prolonged periods of no sexual activity
may make it harder for you to trigger those feelings of sexuality. It this is the case, learn to explore each other’s bodies and learn what those triggers are. If they are never explored, how can you expect them to go off at the right time? Be caring and try to help your partner to discuss her fantasies. Perhaps the reason why you are experiencing dysfunction is because there isn’t enough stimulation between you. If you don’t have foreplay, she is likely to be less receptive or drier, especially if over 60. The menopause may be what is putting her off having sex and this rejection of your advances may be contributing to your inability to sustain an erection. In this case, there are lubricants that you can discreetly use to make the possibility of sex better for both of you.
Many people recoil. They don’t discuss their fears. They don‘t discuss their weaknesses, and even if the dysfunction is temporary and a side effect of something else, those men who do not enter into dialog with their women may never discover the cause of that dysfunction, and both partners may be equally frustrated by the dysfunction that is happening. Let it be a prompt for discussion, so that mutual understanding of all your trigger points and hers can open up new feelings that may bring back the ability to make love without the need for medical help.
Remember that there are a certain amount of things that you have under your control that can aid you. Cut out the drink. Cut down on the smoking and try to keep relatively ﬁt. People who are too tired at night may not think sexual thoughts but prefer to simply go to sleep. If you exercise regularly and keep yourself in good shape, then this can come back permanently and your love life can be revived simply by taking action and doing something positive to help restore the body ﬂow and its fitness levels.
This isn’t the end of the road. Of course there are medical options, but the first stop should be talking with your partner to try and improve things between you, to try and calm your fears and enlist her help in overcoming your problems. You may be very surprised at how differently you feel about making love, when your partner listens to your needs and is able to make love with you, rather than simply being there. Sex therapists teach people methods that they can learn themselves by exploring each other’s bodies and allowing for the fact that life’s bumpy road occasionally gets in the way of great sex.
Researchers have found another treatment method that may spell the doom of drugs like Viagra, Cialis or Levitra: shock therapy. That’s right, low—intensity shock therapy on a man’s love stick has the potential to be a more effective erectile dysfunction treatment for men suffering from severe cases of the condition.
I know, it gives the impression of a painful experience where electricity is jolted onto the penis head, sending the poor shmuck into a state of intense pain and shock. No, that’s not the way it goes. This therapy simply sends through the man’s body low-level waves of sound and this kind of treatment has been used to treat tendonitis and plantar fasciitis and similarly, to break up kidney stones via a treatment called lithotripsy.
A study that came out in the Journal of Sexual Health revealed that 34% of the subject men — who responded poorly to oral medications for erectile dysfunction such as Viagra — regained full sexual function after the treatment without taking any medication. It also revealed that all 29 men subjects of the study had an improved response to the drug after the treatment.
There are speciﬁc exercises geared to strengthening your pelvic ﬂoor, and this helps considerably in being able to retain an erection. In these exercises, you simply lie on your back with your legs folded and your knees together. Imagine the area of your scrotum and with your hands on the front of your hips, pull this area upward. That doesn’t mean lifting your body from the mat. It means pulling just that pelvic ﬂoor area. This exercise can be done with your legs together or with your legs apart and is far more effective with the knees together.
It’s worthwhile investigating exercises that will help to strengthen the pelvic region and these include muscle strengthening of the pelvic basin as well as the area within your shorts. Ask your doctor for a fact sheet on these exercises as these are very good to help you through that dry patch when you are suffering from sexual dysfunction. It takes time to get your body back to its natural state of health and in the meantime, these exercises can help you move forward.
Remember that sexual dysfunction can be caused because you expect it to happen. This is extremely important. If a man has performed badly in bed, it hurts him psychologically because he cannot perform the role that he expects himself to perfonn. Erection may be achieved and then lost when stopping to put on a condom, for example. He may not be able to sustain the erection, but that failure will play highly on his mind the next time that he makes love. He will fear that failure and that fear can make the failure more likely. If this is the case, then it may be useful to visit a sexologist who can discuss what happens at each stage and reassure him of ways that he can overcome these problems.
It‘s a huge blow to the male psyche to realize that he cannot perform what he sees as his masculine role. One could even compare this with a woman being told she will never have children. It hurts. Expect it to, and if your dysfunction is caused initially by something going wrong and then continues because of that fear of failure, the best way forward is to talk to a specialist in this ﬁeld of medicine who will be able to talk you through the problems that are being experienced, and help you to gain conﬁdence again so that your love life is not impacted by erectile dysfunction. Go with your partner. Listen to what the specialist says. His experience will help you through this period and help you toward a much more rewarding sexual experience in the future.
Sexual impotence isn’t just something that old people suffer from. It can be a real problem for younger men as well. Perhaps they are concentrating too much of their effort on other things and sexual issues arise because the body needs toning up and training in the right direction. Impotence does happen in old age, but today men are able to continue with a great love life because there are aids available and medicine to help them to retain that close contact with their partners that they desire. Take advantage of this by learning through professionals, and your love life will spring back to life again and you will experience the possibilities open to you through your health provider.